April 2009
59 posts
WatchFeed my fish, ok? Thanks.
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March 2009
93 posts
A Facebook Hagaddah →
(quit pokin’ Moses)
“: Well, it’s around the time of the goofy “Earth Hour.” The...”
– pennjillette
Is it Pancake Day? →
WatchPersonal grooming… is an important part of… mating rituals.
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Today's THINGS I DID NOT KNOW
Used to didn’t. Now I do. And you do, too, if ya didn’t before:
1. Barbary macaques have a distinctive way of ensuring a successful mating session: yelling. If the female does not shout, the male almost never climaxes. Insert your own Jewish husband joke here.
2. The only woman whose portrait ever appeared on U.S. paper money — a silver certificate, specifically — was Martha...
“I got an ant farm… them fellas didn’t grow shit.”
– Mitch Hedberg
Special Olympics Bowler Kolan McConiughey... →
You just had to see this coming.
[via.]
“I have two pair of reading glasses; one for fiction and one for nonfiction....”
– Steven Wright, on Craig Ferguson
Today's THINGS I DID NOT KNOW
Used to didn’t. Now I do. And you do, too, if ya didn’t before:
1) Barbie’s measurements (if she were life-size): 39-23-33.
2) Gross: Within three days of death, the enzymes that once digested your dinner begin to eat you. Ruptured cells become food for living bacteria in the gut, which release enough noxious gas to bloat the body and force the eyes to bulge outward.
3) Google: - Was...
Top Ten Leprechaun Complaints
10) They find a certain cereal to be neither magical nor delicious. 9) Even with the seat down, they keep falling into the toilet. 8) Santa’s elves are always stealing their women. 7) It’s hard to hold your whiskey with the body of a four-year-old. 6) After you’ve heard “Top o’ the mornin’” a few thousand times, you’d kill for a plain old...
Now THAT'S Googling →
I had em right here a minute ago….
“Because I’m tired of working for candidates who make me think that I...”
– The West Wing’s Bruno Gianelli, as portrayed by actor Ron Silver, who passed away yesterday at age 62.
The Torah In Haiku
Last week I shared Aaron Freeman and Sharon Rosenzweig’s Comic Torah. This week, because I am a fan of Haiku (I ONLY Twitter tweet in Haiku), I’m sharing The Torah In Haiku. Remember what Aaron (not the biblical Aaron… the funny Aaron) explains:
“Judaism is the world’s most obsessive-complusive book club. Every week, religous Jews read a portion or “parsha” of the Hebrew...
High school students really, really, REALLY don't... →
Creative writing teacher is a REALLY tough grader… has teen committed to psych ward.
